Infant Tantrums –What if there was a magic recipe?
It is amazing how easily we can forget what is right in front of us. We can search all around and if we just got still and listened a bit more, its often right there. I can think of so many examples in my life of that. So, here was my most recent moment of not seeing the blindingly obvious!
My three and a half year old daughter is strong willed, fiery, feisty and prone to some frequent raging outbursts aren’t many 3 year olds, I know I am not alone. It ebbs and flows and of course it is often worse, if she hasn’t slept well, not eating great, or our routine gets out of whack. She needs a firm container to feel held, secure and less volatile. On my good days I can help to hold that container for her. On my bad ones, I yell very loudly.
Essential oils, really?
The other day after a particularly fiery episode, I was divulging what had happened to another woman. She told me how she used essential oil blends with her own sons who had a lot of difficulties around anger. Wah! I felt so silly, me an Aromatherapist and I had not used the very tool I had at my disposal. I used them a lot with her as a baby, but as she has grown I seem to have used them much more for their physical properties, to treat a cut, a bruise and so on, less psychologically. Anyway, thanks to this lovely Mama she reminded me to look right there at what I have.
I made up a blend of Orange, Lavender, Geranium & bergamot. Selecting the oils was quite instinctive, I didn’t really think about it too much; sometimes blending that way is the best. Orange has a happy mood and the sweetness is especially attractive to children, lavender of course is a classic calming and balancing oil (as long as not used in high dilution, when it can have a stimulating effect), geranium is often used to treat hormonal imbalances and bergamot is often used to treat depression.
The calm after the storm
The difficult afternoon arrived. This was one time I was able to take a breath and get the blend. She took a deep inhale, I wondered if she would. Instantly I could see her little shoulders relax and the muscles in her face soften, I also took a deep breath and it hit me around the heart and chest, everything softened. I felt tearful. I asked her how she felt and she said ‘good’ she looked intrigued, curious and held, I started to gently rub some oil onto her arms and legs (not feet as she was walking around afterwards) and she kept smiling and saying it felt good. It diffused the whole situation instantly. We both calmed down, the oil held the space for us.
The magic of the oils
Like most things in life there isn’t a magic recipe, but it still surprises me what magic the oils do possess. Since then I have been regularly using the blend if she gets angry and upset. It doesn’t stop it happening, it is just a treatment of the symptoms, but it effectively and quickly melts away the harsh emotions and brings us both back to our centre. It also feels like a very positive ritual to have when she has a tantrum, I am not saying to her don’t be angry or upset, I am just saying, here, I offer you these oils to protect and comfort you in this time of distress and overwhelm. Will you give it a try?